Helping More

Painting of a couple


Your Words Are Your Most Powerful Tool To Use Carefully

By: Ellen Berk, LCSW, BCD

Karen was tired and overwhelmed from listening to the incessant office gossip. Gossip is always the same. You talk about the next change, who would be in charge, and the person's lack of character and qualifications to take over. Karen knew that we are all armchair critics who know what is best and know the "truth" about the situation. She did not like this aspect of organizations. Karen watched as "truths" flew about the office. She began to feel very badly about colleagues with admirable reputations who were now the focus through rumors and damaging gossip.

The Names Can Never Hurt You Myth

Name-calling and negative talk about another can and does hurt. Words can kill or heal your soul. Most assuredly, you can think of probably a handful of comments that you have never forgotten. You have never forgotten them because words are powerful. Words used against another can cause a wound that is difficult to erase. Words do shape your attitudes. Your thoughts and attitudes do evolve into either positive or negative feelings. Negative feelings perpetuate the momentum of gossip, slander, and revengeful behavior. How you think and the words you use, or refrain from using on a daily basis has a profound impact on the course of daily living. You can feel bitter or peaceful inside all by the words you choose to think and speak.

Will You Talk Or Not?

You are the author of creating either a good or bad atmosphere at work or home. What you have to say may be true, provable with evidence. You can always find facts to support your case.

Is what you say really a contribution or just another way to feel superior? Before you say anything, you might want to take five whole minutes to think about whether or not someone will get hurt.

Will what you have to say help a situation or further the turmoil?

Is your motivation for what you have to say to further yourself or for the best of the organization?

Don't respond when you are angry or hurt. Journal out anger and hurt then think about what you can say that would help understanding.

Talk Less Or Speak With Kindness And Do More

When in doubt, it is best to refrain from sharing your opinion. Be the one to refrain from participating in office gossip. Give your support and let your deeds carry you. Be conscious of what you say. Put some effort into avoiding judging and executing others.

Your words are powerful tools. Negativity creates more negativity and usually comes back to haunt you. Good words and deeds also have a positive way of coming back to you. Let your positive actions speak for you.

To find out more about your own communication style, Assess Your Communication Style.

Also check out the list of Recommended Reading.

Other Resources
About the Author
Contact Ellen

Assess your Communication Style
How To Stop The Cycle of Endless Arguing
How Well Do You Listen?
Your Words Are Your Most Powerful Tool To Use Carefully
HomeRelationshipsCommunicationPersonal HappinessAbout the AuthorContact Ellen