Discovering Your Life Goals
Jeff did not worry about how his life would unfold.
He hoped for the best and only looked forward. He considered himself a
typical male in that he did not reflect or analyze his life, his
thoughts, or feelings. His circumstances forced him to look in the
mirror. Jeff was getting bored with his work and life. He wanted to
make some changes but did not quite know how to get there.
Uncovering Your Priorities In A Quiet Space
It starts with a slight sense that something is missing.
You may not take yoga, attend self help seminars, or cry at movies, but
you can still easily find a quiet space and think about whether or not
you like how you have organized your life. Grab a pad of notepaper and
give yourself one half a page for each of the following questions.
1. The single most important element of life is….
(If you say, "to pay the bills" "pay my taxes" or "buy
more…." you need to dig a little deeper. Take a day off, go fishing,
hiking, or horseback riding and think of nothing. Before you return to
your daily routine, take another look at these questions.)
2. The purpose of my life is…
3. My greatest talent is…
4. The greatest contribution I could make is…
5. I strive very hard each day to…
6. The three things I would like to accomplish are…
7. The single greatest truth I have uncovered is…
8. My goal for the next year is to…
9. My greatest blessing is…
10. If I only had one year to live I would…
11. If I only had six months to live I would…
12. If I live a long life, I would like to look back on
life and think that…
13. Life has meaning when….
14. If I put my mind to it I can…
Your purpose for living can change over time and so should how you
spend your time. What gives life meaning may or may not change as you
age. Everyone is talented at something, so answer question # 3 or you
will have to work on improving your self-esteem. What would be the
greatest contribution you could make? Any "truths" that you have
concluded about life? ( ex. of a truth :"I have to accept my life as it
is with all the unfairness.") Are your answers truths, judgements,
disappointments or just examples of a negative attitude? Are your
answers job related or about your family and relationships? Are your
answers hopeful or bleak? What patterns do you notice in your answers?
Is it easy or difficult to find genuine answers to these questions?
3 Steps Toward Changing Your Priorities.
1. Decide how you want your life to be.
2. List possible barriers.
3. List possible options for removal of barriers.
You may recognize that there is a gap between how your
life is and how you would like your life to be. The "gap" showed up in
Jeff's life as boredom. You may think that changing your life direction
is impractical or not possible. Before you decide that, put down on
paper how you would like your life to be. Now list the possible
barriers and obstacles to attaining this. Are these barriers real or
are they your imagined fears? List possible options for removal of
Adjust Your Attitude and Focus To Help Change Come
You need to take a proactive stance to shift roles,
alter responsibilities and do whatever else it will take to shift your
priorities from work to a relationship focus.
You can change some aspects of your life when you make up your mind to
do so. If you had only one year to live, how would your priorities
change? Is crisis and tragedy the only impetus to change? You can
change some aspects of your life and lifestyle without crisis. Decide
that change is possible or necessary.